If you caught Savior’s review of?Night of the Living Dead Resurrection (2012)?than you may come to see how sometimes we see some undesirable films for the sake of entertaining you fine folks. That was his turn and well, sad to say?Emoji Movie (2017)?wasn’t the raging dumpster fire I’d been hoping for, I spun the wheel and this came up. For the record, I usually enjoy smaller, low budget horror-comedy projects. Hell, I saw a bit of potential in this flick.
We join two high school BFFs, Sadie and Mckayla, who are millennial cheerleaders, vloggers, and aspiring serial killers. They have dreams of raising hell and leaving a legacy of infamy in there wake. So they kidnap the town psychopath after he fails to kill Sadie one night because they need a mentor after all. He politely tells them to fuck off so they hold him hostage. Since they can’t learn from him, they decide to go wild in his name, getting famous on the internet in the meantime as gossip vloggers during the fear and panic. But life seems to be dividing the young murderers as Sadie falls for the sheriff’s son who happens to be the girl’s editor and Mckayla doesn’t take this well and suddenly she finds a new friend…
In no way is this the worst movie I’ve seen but damn is it disappointing. Though there are a couple of decently funny moments and a couple alright kills, the amount of stupidity made me groan more than laugh. These girls are no Michael or Jason. Sadie’s boy toy hilariously sticks out like a sore thumb because he’s supposed to be 17 or 18 but instead looks to be pushing his mid thirties. This movie is very millennial which annoyed the shit out of me- phones, twitter, people saying things like “hashtag”, “why so jelly”, and talking in text speak and crappy auto-tuned music horribly dates this movie and reminds me I’m old. Besides that, my biggest issue was I couldn’t get behind any of the characters because they were such cardboard stereotypes or were just stupid. I didn’t like this movie myself but I see points where some may like it. May the gaming gods bring you glory because this is for you all that stuck around and best wishes to you all.
War of the Worlds has had many iterations, from the many movies, books and even the original radio broadcast that has spread its own host of urban legends, some of which I covered here?Brave New Jersey (2016).
The 1953 version however is by far my favorite, Based off the novel by H.G. Wells and the screen play by Barre Lyndon. The story takes place in a small California town on a night like most others. People are at a local dance or out to eat even a few on a little fishing trip camping out. When a meteorite strikes nearby people get curious, after all who wouldn’t?
A few days later when it cools down and people can get close enough to investigate is when things go from fun and interesting, to world-changing bad. As the meteorite opens to reveal itself to be instead to be alien ships invading the earth.
The acting in the movie is great, you can actually believe these people are scared of what is taking place and for its time the effects are stunning. Sure by the standards of today they are primitive but imagine going to see this on the big screen back in 1953 with your girlfriend, having never seen anything like this when the ship starts shooting or when you finally see this alien come on-screen and grab the girl’s shoulder from behind.
Sure we have the benefit of it being remastered in color and have seen things much better, but for its time this thing was creepy as hell. Even when I was a kid having grown up with horror movies I remember thinking how I would have freaked if this ugly little bastard managed to sneak up on me.
The ending is also amazing, and I don’t mind spoiling it because the movie is over 60 years old, but if you plan on seeing it after reading this and don’t want it spoiled now is the time to stop reading. Seriously, last chance.
Now I assume you are ready for the spoiler. The end is with the world mostly in ruins, people rioting cars flipped and burning we find out main characters hiding in a church after even nuclear weapons failed to stop the invaders. When suddenly the ship heading their way simply starts to fall and crashes into a building. A hatch opens, an alien starts to appear and stops. Our brave scientist inches his way over to discover it is mysteriously dead. What is even more is all of these ships seem to be slowly doing the same thing. Not all at once, but slowly over time dying. For all their technology they failed to take into account one thing. The germs of Earth played hell with their immune system. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
?What can I say, the Merc with a mouth has stolen the hearts of millions since the debut of his movie and that atrocity we don’t talk about in 09, you know what I’m talking about. I picked up Deadpool in late 2013 and have been a fan ever since. Here’s a list of awesome Wade stories I’ve read in no particular order starting with one I already covered…
?Deadpool vs X-Force?– what can I say, Cable and the X force hunting Deadpool through time so America doesn’t become a tyrannical superpower in the future. Such WTF.
?2. Deadpool: Dracula’s Gauntlet- if you are a fan of horror like myself, this book is for you. Dracula has a job for Deadpool, but than comes a double cross and we get a great WTF story.
?3. Night of the living Deadpool- Deadpool in the modern zombie craze. Zombie fans will eat this story up as we get some pretty funny jokes about the zombie cultural phenomenon as well as a good story.
? 4. Deadpool: Killustrated- I briefly touched on this story during my?5 Marvel stories that hooked me?post, being part two of the Deadpool kills trilogy, centering on Deadpool slaying the fictional characters that inspired the Marvel Universe with appearances by such as Moby Dick, the Little Women, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the stories ultimate antagonist, Sherlock Holmes.
?5. Deadpool Vs Carnage- two super powered psychos duke it out like a episode of R rated Looney Tunes. It’s funny, crazy, and bloody. Simple but classic.
I hope you all found this helpful; it’s good to be back. Best wishes and may the gaming gods be with you all.
Planet of the sharks is an interesting concept. Due to climate change the ice caps have melted and the world has flooded. Humans now live on floating cities in small numbers. Sharks freely roam the world since water now covers pretty much the entire planet. One shark however has seemed to have transformed into a special shark that now leads and controls the others. With the ocean temperatures riding even more food is becoming more scarce. Since food is harder to find sharks are now hunting the humans in the floating cities.
The story sounds fun and has a lot of promise, the problem is despite solid acting and an interesting story the movie falls flat. The script itself leaves much to be desired and the entire sun story of a single rocket fixing the global warming problem is at best idiotic and at worst a complete waste of time and misguided. Don’t get me wrong, it could have been great. The entire movie could have been amazing, it just fell short. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
As a horror fan, of course I’m a Resident Evil fan but I can’t say I really played the Revelations games. Friends and fellow fans give them good reviews but I just never played them. Well, I got Episode 1 of Revelations 2 (which the fact the game is episodic kind of pissed me off at first) Playing a decent chunk of the game however, I found quite a lot of things I really liked.
Series veteran Claire Redfield and Moira Burton (daughter of RE alum Barry from the first game) get kidnapped during a fancy fundraiser and taken to a dark, dank, underground prison where some biological experiments have gone on and they have to survive while being surveyed by a raspy voiced watcher.
First I have to say I love the game’s familiar controls just made more fluid; standard controls feel like 4 but made quickened and the partner switching is just as fluid and easy as it was in 0. Aiming is easy and quick but I have felt a bit airy when shooting- like something about shooting gave me a feeling at first like I may have been missing when I wasn’t.? Moira’s part is interesting. She pretty much mans a flashlight and a crowbar, using the light to blind zombies or find hidden items while using the crowbar to defend yourself or Claire. I never found her useless like prior sidekicks and her A.I isn’t brain dead either and vice versa. The monsters I found so far are…well, Resident Evil standard, gooey, gory, and want you dead. Did I find them scary, eh not really but never the less the bastards weren’t paper people either. I get why the story is episodic now but I still wished it was? just one game. In the end, I want to finish it up and enjoy it because I think it will be good. May the gaming gods bring you glory, and dammit no one wants to be a Jill Sandwich.
Seth Grahame-Smith: a man who has made so many eye catching WTF titles, I damn near found it impossible not to pick up just on premise alone. I mean let’s be serious for a second, Abraham Lincoln- one of the most fascinating presidents of U.S history and arguably one of the greatest…and we’re supposed to imagine him slaying through the fiends of the dead. I admit, I thought it was going to be a ridiculous comedy but I was pleasantly surprised.
The story flips back and forth between Lincoln’s personal diaries and third person narrative discussing his life, his personal demons and his years hunting down vampires while trying to keep a family and keep to the path we know of in history.
I was impressed how grounded the book was and even creepy at times. There is a great sense of tension when Abe is around vampires, and he does get his ass kicked. He’s not a damn superhero as he is portrayed in the film. The book is well paced and as a general reader, the historical context isn’t unreasonable. There really wasn’t anything that made me call Bullshit or anything. I think it’s worth a read and may the gaming gods bring you glory and safe from vampires.
Another great WTF story from Seth Grahame Smith, we get a new way to reintroduce the Jane Austen classic, Pride and Prejudice, to young folks of this generation. Add ninjas, guns, and a zombie apocalypse and whamo, we have Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies. The five Bennett sisters are divided women, raised to be sophisticated ladies of old time British society by there mother, but there father wants them to be strong to survive the mysterious zombie virus. Because of him, they’ve been trained as warriors. Elizabeth sticks to the warrior life close, not wanting to be a frail lady, but will she be doomed to be alone and unmarried? She finds herself connected to fellow warrior Darcy, but he is most disagreeable; but Elizabeth may be able to meet her hero as her sisters fall off of the path of the warrior…
This is a weird one to review. For much of the book, it is very much Austen’s classic. More experienced, clever? readers will notice the transitions between Austen and Smith (I don’t Jane Austen wrote about zombies and ninjas back then.) I will warn people though: it is in old English for most of the book so that turn off quite a few readers. All this being said, it is a cool, if not batshit crazy at times and the illustrations add a nice touch. I can’t say I liked it as much as Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but it’s a fun book. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
What’s one of the biggest cliches in gaming? Cute, defenseless princess gets kidnapped and a hero needs to come to save her (not mentioning names Peach.) I found this PS2 pseudo-horror game on accident and while it kicked my ass, it also was a rarity for me at the time- a game that is badass but made me think.
Allura is a princess on the run after her father is murdered and she is framed by her evil stepmother. Her only refuge seems to be a Gothic manor where she gets possessed by essentially the Devil. She gains the power to summon traps in the house to kill her pursuers.
I will tell you off the bat I didn’t play the game in English but Japanese dub with English subtitle; I’m not sure if there is a English dub. The game isn’t perfect but fun. You set traps along the floor, wall, and ceiling, and use yourself to lure your prey to them. Besides these traps, you are defenseless so don’t get cornered and keep moving. The traps are cool and damn right cruel by the end, so if you are a?Saw?fan I’d definitely check it out. There are very elusive ultimate environmental traps that once triggered are disturbingly awesome, unless you get caught in them that is. Your own traps can kill you. Graphically, the game looks pretty and sounds nice. I found myself near rage-quit a few times because of either a bullshit kill or a certain boss that is a absolute pain about half way through. I’d recommend some research before buying but I found it alright in the end. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
I miss a time when EA games made games that hooked me, instead of killed things I loved like?DeadSpace?and Star Wars: Battlefront. Also by Visceral, we got a game adaptation of the dark epic poem by Dante Alighieri, journeying into the depths of hell.
Dante is a knight who went off to slay and lay for god during the Crusades, only to have his broken promises to his beloved Beatrice come back and bite him in the ass. The Devil comes and takes her as his own to punish Dante, forcing him to face the Grim Reaper guarding the gates of hell. After getting the Reaper’s scythe and a powerful holy cross he must fight through the River Styx, Purgatory, and all 9 levels of hell, battling the damned as well as his own demons to save Beatrice and slay the Devil.
I’m going to be blunt and call this what it really kinda was, God Of War with a creepier skin. A LOT of the gameplay is lifted from God of War, so if you aren’t into hack/slash type games, this isn’t for you. What sells the game hands down is the level and enemy designs which are truly beautiful and horrifying. I do like finding real historical figures in hell, hearing there stories and choosing whether to absolve them to heaven or damn them to oblivion. On a bad note though, towards the end the game fizzles out by the end and the Devil is a pretty lame final boss. I still think the game is worth checking out and at the very least admired? for showing us a classic but freaky hell. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
I’m starting this off by dedicating this to my lil sis who told me about this book and gave me the most depressing book I’ve read.
The book follows the Dollanganger family, the seemingly perfect family…until the father dies and everything unravels. They’d been living on a mix of luck and credit and are about to lose everything. Mother, Corrine, tells her four children they have to go to her estranged, ultra-rich parents; the kids are shocked to find they have grandparents, there last name is really Foxworth, and these grandparents aren’t great people. Corrine’s father is dying, so her plan is to become daddy’s girl again to get money so they can scram. Corrine’s mother hates her with a fiery rage and instantly despises the children; her stipulation is they have to live in the attic, having to pretend they don’t exist. Oldest of the four kids, Christopher and Cathy (the narrator) have to care for there younger brother and sister while dealing with there cruel, hateful grandmother, there mother who has forgotten them, a host of ugly family secrets, and forbidden feelings for each other as they stay in the attic…
I won’t lie, I love this book but holy crap is it heart? wrenching. V.C Andrews ingeniously dangles hope in front of them only to crush it by reality without making the book seeming to feel completely hopeless. I’ve frequently seen this book labeled “horror” and to an extent, I agree. Some of the images and scenes are pretty damn disturbing and there is as much tension if not more than I experienced in many other horror books. I absolutely recommend this book to aspiring writers like myself and people who need a good tear or two. May the gaming gods bring you glory.